These past few months have been both a time of restoration and normalcy. We have been asked a lot how we are doing, and we are doing much better! I recently shared the image with a friend how it has felt like we have been facing each other, holding hands, and taking a deep breath as waves have crashed over our heads. This has been the first time in a while where we feel like we are walking forward, hand-in-hand, able to dream and not be in survival mode. Thank you for all of the prayers for us over these past few months and years!!!
Richard has been focused on the Isaiah 117 House over these past few months, as one of the houses will be opening up at the beginning of the year. He is in charge of the DCS appreciation days on the 17th of each month and the data entry/newsletter writing. There have also been times to go clean the house, help out at a few pajama drives, and meet the neighbors around the first house. It is incredible to think that in just a few months, we will begin receiving kids on the most difficult day of their lives. Most counties receive 1-2 cases a week, but Memphis is set to most likely receive at least 1 case a day. It’s going to be busy, but we can’t wait to provide them with a home to go to, warm meals, and all of their clothing/necessities instead of going to sit at the DCS office.
We have talked about Austin a few different times. He is a young man who Richard mentors through an organization called Youth Villages, which is basically an orphanage about 2 miles from our house with around 150 kids there. They are kids that are difficult cases to place in traditional foster homes and many of them have had their parental rights terminated. I met Austin at the TN Kid’s Belong Video Shoot this past year. These shoots record videos to help the kids get adopted and this was Austin's 2nd time to video. This past month, we were able to hang out at his 3rd video shoot, which is also so extremely sad because he still hasn’t been adopted. There are 110 kids in Memphis right now who are just waiting to either be adopted or age out at 18. It’s heartbreaking! Thankfully, a few days later, we had our mentor/hang out night and he had really wanted to go to a Haunted House. We were able to go to his favorite Mexican restaurant and then head to get scared!!! The part that was the most fun was a scary escape room where at one point we had to dig through “organs” to find a key. Ahhh!!! The kids loved it though!
This past week, Richard had his 6-month cancer follow up, which included the first CT scan and chest x-ray since his cancer has been in remission. It definitely brought forward those thoughts again of “The cancer is back and has just been hiding from the blood tests…” But thankfully that is not the case!!! He is still cancer free! It is something that was such a relief to hear. He is still dealing with neuropathy in his hands and feet, which is frustrating but “doable.” He still has the side effects of high blood pressure and high cholesterol, but it is starting to regulate some. He has also been going to the gym regularly to regain all of the muscle mass that he lost while he was doing chemo. He even convinced Inti to join him for a week, even though it was early. We are excited to see how his body continues to recover after this season!
Last year, right in between surgery and beginning chemo, Richard had organized an Adoptive and Foster Dad’s event to go to dinner and then axe throwing. It was an awesome event with 6 guys just hanging out and sharing stories. But then there was a hiatus of almost a year with everything that happened! Thankfully, he was able to organize the 2nd hang out event and this time 12 dads showed up!!! We went out to dinner and then went to a Pinball and Pool place. It was incredible. One of the guys who came had just reunited his foster son, who he raised from birth to 9 months old, into a situation that isn’t ideal. He shared how this event was just what he needed to be able to share what happened with other foster dads who get what he is going through, instead of the normal response from others of “but you knew not to get attached going into this!” He loved hard and is dealing with the heartbreak of loss and just wanted to hear, “I get it…it’s hard…you’re not alone.” It was truly an amazing night.
On the theme of reunification, we had the final custody trial for Julian this past week. It was nerve-wracking for sure! The judge basically turned to us and said, in more high-level, judge words, “Tell me why I should give Marelyn custody back.” We were able to share how she has been able to maintain her apartment for the past 2 years, has a stable job, had started to see a psychiatrist, and was always present for visitation. She then asked a few questions to Marelyn and granted her custody back! She did ask us how we would make sure that Julian wasn’t being mistreated, and we shared that we are still going to be picking him up after school and taking care of him until Mom gets off of work. The judge then turned to us and shared how grateful she was to us for being in favor of reunification and walking alongside this family. We were all in tears!
On Saturday, we finished packing up most of his things, took him to his last soccer game, and then drove to Marelyn’s apartment to move him in. Julian was so excited to be able to be moving back with his mom!!! Sadly, it wasn’t exactly the happy picture that we were wanting, but most reunification isn’t. She shared that she had just been fired from her job the day before and was dealing with all of the emotions of fear and sadness around that event. We shared that in some ways she had to suck it up and fight, because Julian is now in her custody and he was so excited. She shared that she didn’t have a resumé and needed one to apply for a few jobs, so Richard helped her put one together. We have such mixed emotions, but we are ready for this shift of caring solely for Julian to caring for this small family. As we were leaving, Julian gave us all hugs and said “See you Monday!!!” It is beautiful to see how he has matured and grown over the past 3 years that we have had him.
At a training a few weeks back, a foster parent was sharing about how the biological kids within a foster family rarely receive the comments of “You are doing such an incredible job!” like many of their parents receive, even though they sacrifice their parents, their emotional/mental health, and their home. One time traveling back from soccer, I asked Leilani if anyone had ever thanked her for all of the work that she has put in as a sister to so many foster kids. She said, “No…I don’t think anyone has ever shared that.” So I said, “Well…thank you. It has been so beautiful how you have shared yourself.” She was teary-eyed.
Many of you have asked how we are doing and so many of you have asked how our kids are doing, which is something that many people don’t ask. So thank you for that! There’s a lot there! Our three kids at this point (Inti, Santiago, and Leilani) have been on this emotional roller-coaster with us. They have felt guilt and responsibility at times for our other kids leaving, feeling like if they would have just done something different or said something different then they wouldn’t have left. They have also felt relief at having more time and space back after their siblings have left, being able to take a break from being the healthy ones in the relationship. They have been able to have their parents back at soccer games, band competitions, and at the house. It has been a lot over the past few months. At the same time, we have seen them thrive over the past few weeks without that burden of dealing with siblings who are not in a healthy place. For us as parents, it has been so sweet to be able to spend that extra time with them and just let them know that they are doing an incredible job!
As we approach December, Ximena's ministry in the finance department spikes with year end donations and she will pretty much disappear! But she loves what she does, even if it is a lot of behind the scenes work, because it allows her to have that time and space at the office to herself. At the same time, December will be our 17th year that we have been missionaries with Orphanos. It is crazy to think that it has been that long! But we couldn't do the ministry that we do without them. We would like to highlight that many of you will be receiving a letter in the mail, sharing about the Double December campaign for Orphanos. Basically, it is the request to give an additional donation to Orphanos to help cover the administrative expenses, as everything they do for us is free of charge. We would greatly appreciate if you would consider giving!
Prayer Requests:
1. The Johnson/Reyes family: Please pray for Marelyn to find a job quickly and for her to be conscious how to parent Julian, as this is the first time since he was 1 year old. Pray for Julian to be able to deal with his triggers and trauma responses for it to be as easy of a transition as possible.
2. Family Travel: While we do not have travel restrictions, we are planning a few trips for our family! We have a band competition in Indianapolis (Santi’s marching band won the Bands of America regional competition and are going to Nationals!). We are also heading to California to visit Meme and see the sequoias as well as Colorado to see the Brennans. And of course, the Texas Marathon in Kingwood to support Matthew and our Uncle Mark in December!!!
3. Wisdom and Intentionality: We are focusing on our kids and how to love and support them. Please pray for the conversations that we have, as each one is going through different stages and emotions.
P.S. One honor this past month was being chosen to speak with the Governor's office about next steps for foster care in Memphis. It was even made sweeter, because so many people who I now am able to call friends were there too!
We are so grateful to each person who reads our update and loves on us in so many ways. We are always needing new supporters, so if God places it on your heart, here are the links:
Family Support: CLICK HERE!
Ministry Expenses Support: CLICK HERE!