I was on the phone with a close friend of ours, sharing some of the things that have taken place over the past few months. Her comment of “Ministry is messy!” stuck with me and continues to be the case. Ministry can definitely be described as many other things, but at times it is truly messy. A lot has happened over the past few weeks, so in this update we are going to start with what happened recently and work our way backwards.
A week ago, Richard and our three kids were coming back from their time in Belize visiting grandparents. That weekend, M had been planning a birthday party for J, her two-year-old and for herself. She had been dreaming about it for months. We both felt that her emotions were high, as she had invited a lot of people, but hadn’t prepared much for the party. It was also the first time that all 8 of us were together in over a month. Over the past two months, M has usually had a breakdown every two weeks, where she would show erratic behavior and we would have to step in to care for the kids. We were preparing ourselves for some sort of episode to take place, but we were definitely not prepared for what happened.
The day after we arrived and a day before the party, she had a breakdown and took out her frustration on J, taking it to the level of physical abuse (this wasn't the first time we had seen borderline abuse, but was the worst). We had to call the police for his safety and she took off walking with J, leaving C, her infant, behind. Ximena and our three kids, who were there during the episode, left the volatile situation, as we didn’t know what was going to take place. The police began searching for M and J, as they were very concerned for J’s safety. She ended up hiding in the woods for a few hours with J before finding a ride from a friend and escaping. Since she left her infant behind, she was charged with felony abandonment and a warrant was filed for her arrest. For those few hours, Richard was there in the driveway with the baby and up to 7 police cars in front of our house. It was a scene we never thought could have happened. C was able to go with the mom who had previously planned on adopting him, as she still had a power of attorney in place.
Since M had left with nothing, she didn’t have her wallet or anything that she needed. Along with one of her friends who had come into town for the birthday party, we were able to convince her to come to our house the next day with J to pick up her things. When she arrived, J ran into the house while she was in the garage and Richard was able to grab him and lock him in our master bedroom with Inti. The police were already on their way and arrived a few minutes later, although it felt like an eternity, to take her in. She spent the weekend in jail. Since there were already people in town to celebrate Julian's birthday, we did end up having it. A sweet neighbor, who also had come over to care for baby C when the police were there the night before, ran to Costco and got everything to throw a party for J at the end of the day. It was a celebration for us to know that he was safe, but it definitely felt more like a funeral. Everyone who was there had been emotionally involved and in relationship with M and we still couldn't wrap our heads around what had just occurred. In court the following Monday, she was released with a new court date and Richard was able to speak to the judge to receive temporary custody of J. Later that day, one of M’s boyfriends came to pick up her things. At that point, after moving rooms around and cleaning, the realization that there was a new reality started to set in.
So now, let’s go back before we knew that all of that was going to take place…
Richard and the kids were able to spend a month in Belize, visiting their grandparents and aunt/uncle/cousin who live there. It was a fun time for them to do things like fishing, going to waterfalls, going to the beach, and even cave tubing. The kids were able to spend a ton of time with the goats, dogs, and cows too, even “adopting” an orphaned goat now named Charlie Andrew Roseland. Almost every day, we would walk down to the river to play in the waterfalls and it was so beautiful there. But probably some of the most precious times for us were at night. Since we didn’t have internet on the property we were staying, we played games, read, joked around, and just hung out. It was incredibly hot without A/C so that is one thing that we greatly appreciated when we made it back to Memphis!
The cool part of Richard ministering to caregivers all over the world is that he can minister from anywhere in the world. Thankfully, the internet has greatly improved in Belize, so it worked seamlessly for him to continue to minister the whole time he was there…beyond the 3 days that the electricity or internet went out!!! There was one day that he sat down after a long day of meetings and thought through what had just taken place. He had “traveled” to Memphis, Thailand, Chicago, and ended in Mexico all from Belize. By the end of the day, he was pouring sweat from the 90-degree almost 100% humidity day with no A/C. Our missionaries in Mexico asked if he had just been running around and moving things. Nope! Just another day in the “office,” which is a lot different than most.
While they were in Belize, Ximena traveled to Ecuador for two weeks. During the pandemic, she had been very worried about her grandmothers, as both of them are older and not in great health. As soon as restrictions were lifted, she booked her flight to be able to go and spend time with them. Her grandmother in Manta was so touched that she came there just to be with her and kept asking her if she needed to visit someone else or be with a team. Every time she asked and Ximena told her that she was there to be with her, she would smile. At the end of the trip, she was with her grandmother in Quito and was very stomach sick after eating all of her favorite foods. Her grandmother kept saying that she needed to eat!!! She almost said “I could snap you like a chicken!” (My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding reference, in case you were wondering!). She was able to sneak in a few visits with one of her best friends who worked at It's About Kids with her, Vale, and with our kids, Mayumi and Erick, when she was in Manta. It was a really sweet time and made us want even more to have our kids visit, because they haven’t seen them since we moved to Memphis.
Back in the month of May, Richard had a great opportunity to share lessons that God has taught him with close friends. He heads up the onboarding process for all of the Orphanos missionaries and a few of the sessions are on fundraising, specifically through the book “The God Ask.” Whenever a few of our close friends, Smith and Kelsey Hopkins, stepped out in faith from the head pastor at a church to start a church plant, they reached out to see if Richard would be willing to coach them in fundraising for the plant. They were able to meet three times and just talk through the emotions, especially fear, that are present when asking people to support a ministry financially. But we were able to talk through how we are able to give people the ability to get involved with what God is doing in and around us by just sharing about the ministry. It was a really beautiful time to combine training that he usually does with incredibly close friends and the ministry that they are embarking on.
We also were visited by Tim and Spencer Eaton!!! Tim has been a long-time friend, who used to visit us every summer in Ecuador and would bring a different family member each time along with a team. Spencer had come to Ecuador and lived with us for a summer a few years ago. It was so great to be able to visit with them and share life for an afternoon. We had missed them!
And now that brings us back to present day. We are exhausted and honestly don't know what will be happening in the future with M, J, and C, but we have to give each one of their lives over to our Father. We have to give Inti to Him as well and the plans that He has to grow in relationship with Him. We have to give Him the lives of Santi and Lani, as he reveals Himself to them through every experience. He knows better than we do what they need, even though we would like to think sometimes that we do! But we would love to ask you to join us in praising Him as well as lifting up a few requests:
Praises:
1. Our Tia Ruth gifted us a car to use for ministry purposes and came at a perfect time for Inti to use it while he is living with us before the end of the year. We had been practicing driving a lot before we left for Belize and he drove back from Austin to Memphis! He did awesome!
2. We have had close friends who are reaching out to us and caring for us in such incredibly loving and tangible ways. We truly love the community that we have here in Memphis and we couldn’t do this without them.
3. We know that J and C are both in safe homes right now and being cared for. DCS has continued to be willing to have J with us and C with the mom who was going to adopt him, so it looks like both J and C will be with families who love them during this season.
Prayer Requests:
1. Wisdom for Inti as he continues to make big, life decisions. He is planning on moving to Canada in October/November to work and begin studying architectural engineering at this point. He has been learning how to do house maintenance in the meantime and even was hired by some friends to do some projects at their house!
2. Healing for J, as he has been affected by the trauma he has gone through over his first two years of life. He has around five breakdowns a day at this point and it is hard to watch him suffer. We see that he handles stress the same way as his mom, so we are trying to reteach ways to soothe himself and work through stressful situations. It is hard and very exhausting!!!
3. Healing for M, as she is not in a safe space right now. We have had a few calls with her over the past few weeks and they are from an unhealthy place. She needs to see a mental professional, but we don't think she has taken those steps, based on the incoherence of the calls we have had. We want her to be healthy so that she can have her kids back, but we know it will be a lot of work and we don't know if she is willing to.
4. Protection over our home. In the middle of the drama of the past few weeks, the dishwasher, mower, and A/C all went out. We are still in varying stages of repair for each of them, but it just adds to the exhaustion.
P.S. Here is a verse that God has been sharing with us recently: "What's the price of price of two or three pet canaries? Some loose change, right? But God never overlooks a single one. And he pays even greater attention to you, down to the last detail even numbering the hairs on your head! So don't be intimidated by all this bully talk. You're worth more than a million canaries." Luke 12:7
P.S.S. And here are some cute/funny pics!
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