At the beginning of May, Richard was in charge of a major event. He had been planning a Parent’s Day Out for foster parents for months! It is amazing how much planning and organization can go into just a few hours of activities. We ended up having 50+ kids attend and over 15 families drop off their kids. It was hard! We had a lot of kids under 4, so there were lots of diapers, bathroom breaks, and attitudes. We were able to have some time with inflatables, popsicles, movie/popcorn, and even a flower pot decorating activity. It was so beautiful to see a few different posts from some of the foster families about their free time spent with biological kids or just enjoying being together. One of the couples came in at the very end, arms draped over each other’s shoulders, with the most relaxed and in-love faces. Right as they walked in the door (about 5 minutes early), they both said, “Just wait…we aren’t ready to pick up yet…let us just have a quick run to the bathroom!” It’s amazing how hard even bathroom breaks can be with so many kids!
The following day, Mother’s Day, began well, but ended much different than expected. We knew that it would be hard on all four of our babies who are separated from their moms, so we had open conversations with them about the day. We had just had a big issue come up with Kenito* the night before regarding him bullying some children at the Parent’s Day Out, but we were so glad that he was able to work through it and share about it in our evening debriefing time. On that Sunday, he decided to go out in our neighborhood and try to find someone to play with. Instead of that happening, he ended up getting into a fight with one of our neighborhood boys with special needs. The situation continued to escalate. We were able to calm him down three different times, but in the end, he started destroying his bicycle and telling us that he wanted to leave and go to the DCS office. We went inside to call his case worker and by the time we came back, he was gone.
This wasn’t the first time that he had run away…it was the 4th…but we had been told by our case worker the last time to call the police if we could no longer see him. The police came and took a report…30 minutes went by…we called the emergency DCS line for them to get the weekend social worker ready…an hour went by. Nothing! It was getting dark…2 hours…we still hadn’t heard anything…2 ½ hours…his mom called us crying. He had biked 17 miles to his grandmother’s house and had just arrived. Their local police were called, since it was outside of our police’s jurisdiction, and he was taken to a new foster home the next day.
We had such a mixing of emotions that following day. Kenito was a hard case! There was relief at not having to deal with the constant bullying towards are kids and his need for attention. But we loved him and missed him so much…it was so hard to consider him starting all over at his 4th placement. Two days later, he came by the house with his case worker to finally pick up his things. It broke our hearts, but it was so good to see him. Thankfully, one of our friends had been working on getting him placed in a home with an older lady that she knew. So we have now been able to be in regular contact with Ms. Brown and have contact with Kenito. After a few days, she shared how hard he is, so it made us feel a little better that we aren’t crazy!
That next week, we were able to visit Kenito at his new home. The following week, we were able to take him for a day to the river for our family time with all of the kids. It was a little strange at first, as he was really quiet and he’s NEVER quiet! But as he settled in, he started to open up again. A few weeks later, we helped set him up with a camp that Leilani was going to with our church. The Orchard offered it free of charge!!! He loved his time at camp and he did really well, with only a minor incident the last night. We are so grateful to Ms. Brown for her being willing to continue to allow us to be in his life.
Towards the end of May, we were blessed by two different churches in such huge ways. First, The Orchard Church heard about our issues with hot water. Our hot water heater was already going out, but with so many kids, we had to make sure that everyone was constantly taking turns. They paid to have a tankless water heater installed and it has been amazing!!! Second, Oikos Church and our good friends, Smith and Kelsey Hopkins, decided to completely overhaul our living room and each bedroom. We went from having places for 5 people to sit to 10 places and each bedroom with a minimum of 3 beds. We sure hope that we don’t have 13 kids in our home, but we are so glad to have spaces that are perfect for fostering! It was amazing how they put together so many different pieces of furniture in a day! One of the rooms is still under construction, but we are hopeful that it will be finished in time for our ever-growing family in August.
Since the kids have been out of school, Richard decided to put his teaching experience to good use and organized a mini, summer school for the kids. It basically consists of reading in Spanish/English, typing, math, grammar, music, and art for 30 minutes each morning. It has been fun to see them settling up in the living room each morning and getting to work for their free time. Sometimes their music is a little “interesting” shall we say, but it is fun to see them enjoying that time. Ximena also has a strong connection with the son of one of our friends, MK, who is a foster mom. Her son, Judah, is from Puerto Rico and loves everything Puerto Rican, which makes Ximena so happy! As a part of this, Ximena was able to find a few Puerto Rican children’s books that she thought he would love, as well as helping make a connection with a guy in PR who makes clothing. He loved the books!
Each day is always very unique and different than we expect! Since our two oldest girls were previously in an English-speaking foster home, they weren’t able to communicate what had happened to them and some of their needs, so many days are filled with medical appointments to the gynecologist, optometrist, and dentist. One sweet surprise was a connection with Saddle Creek Orthodontist for Naty*. She has had braces on her teeth for almost a year, but no bands. They agreed to provide her with braces and two year’s worth of treatment free of charge! It was so beautiful when we received the news! We've also try to provide carefree and fun activities over the summer as well...anything with flour is always fun!
We wanted to begin helping them with their immigration processes to see if they had the option to stay in the US. We were able to contact a local organization, Latino Memphis, and after hearing their stories, they agreed to represent both of the girls pro bono! It was heart-wrenching to hear what both of the girls have been through. Clau* had been brought by her dad to the US and abandoned in Florida to work in the fields at the age of 12. She had suffered both physical and sexual abuse before and during that time. At the same time, we were able to discover through the conversation that Naty had been a victim of human trafficking by her half-brother while she was in Memphis. She was forced to work 65 hours a week and locked in her room whenever she wasn’t in school or at work. They both had shared these experiences with the police and DCS, but nothing was ever reported. We have now been in the process of getting them services, like counseling, to help them work through their trauma. We have been able to see the hand of God through sweet people in our community. (The picture below is the day they met with their lawyer for the first time…Clau was so happy to know that she could be here legally some day!)
At the end of May, we had court for Julian and we received a huge shock. On the Zoom court, Julian's mom decided to admit negligence and give up custody of Julian and his brother instead of going to trial. We were both shell-shocked, as then the judge gave us permanent custody and we had to face the realization that we could possibly be parenting Julian for the rest of his life. It wasn't something that we had every contemplated, so it took a few days for it to register. We still have that hope that his mom will petition for custody again someday, but we are also willing to provide him that home that he needs for as long as he needs it. We celebrated his 3rd birthday at the beginning of June! It was a beautiful time, as it was exactly one year since the incident happened.
In the middle of his birthday party, the A/C on our house went out. Thankfully, one of our friends, Howie, came to the rescue. It was right in the middle of some of the hottest weather in Memphis, getting into the 100s, but thankfully it only took 3 days to fix. It was the perfect timing, as we were also able to have one Richard’s good friends from college, Laura, come and visit the day after it was fixed! It was only for a few days, but they were so amazing! We were able to enjoy everything around Memphis, including taking the kids to the Civil Rights Museum and going to Graceland. We were even able to go out, just the three of us, to BB Kings and enjoy some good food and live music. We hadn’t done that in so long!
Even before we had started fostering, we had planned a family trip for the 5 of us. It couldn’t have come at a better time! One of our family friends, the Tweeds, offered for us to use their beach condo at the family-rate, which was so great. This trip was filled with firsts for Julian. It was the first time for Julian to go on a plane and it was the first time for him to go to the beach. It was fun to watch his amazement at everything and hear him asking in the morning if we were going to go to the beach. He stills asks every once in a while if we are going to go to the beach!
For Father's Day, Richard received the best surprise that made his year...he received a call from all 10 of the kids. It was such a fun call to laugh and catch up for a few minutes. Best gift ever! Or so he thought! Two days later, we became grandparents!!! Mayumi had to have an emergency c-section, but thankfully they both are doing great. We still don't have an official name...either Judah or Jacob...but Ximena likes Judah...so I guess that will be it! Haha! The days that we were at the beach were so restful and it was great to not have any appointments to get to. It was just what we needed, especially as we were heading back to have a big neighborhood party two days later!
At the end of June, Ximena had one of her crazy ideas, which everyone always has fun at! She had been wanting to throw a party for our neighborhood kids before COVID happened, so now she had all of her pent-up planning and excitement. So she decided to go big!!! We rented a enormous water slide, got a foam machine, and a bunch of hotdogs…and the rest is in the pictures below! We were able to do two rotations, inviting a few foster and adoptive families with younger kids to the first few hours. The last 4 hours were dedicated to our neighborhood kids and they took full advantage of it!!! At the end, our yard was a muddy mess and Ximena had to drive one kid home because his legs hurt so much from climbing up the slide that he couldn’t walk home, but it was so beautiful!!! Ximena’s crazy ideas are always the best!
We are now less than 2 weeks away from heading to Ecuador to meet our first grandson! There are still quite a few things that we need to get done before we leave, so we would appreciate prayer!
Naty/Clau: There are still so many appointments (medical, immigration, trafficked-victims, etc.) that we have to squeeze into a few weeks. Please be praying for patience for Richard as he deals with their case workers as well.
Inti/Nico: Continue to pray for the final details for them to move to Memphis in August. Please pray especially for Inti's passport and for Nico's visa appointment on August 1st.
Ecuador Trip: There have currently been protests in Ecuador that our shutting down the country. We are praying that the protests won't prevent us from seeing our kids and grandson.
With love,
Richard and Ximena
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