Changes at the Roseland House

These past few months have had some high highs and low lows…and some in between emotions as well. There have been more change than we wanted, but God is so good and knows the timing that things will take place, even if we aren’t ready for it.

Right before the Texas Tour, Richard was able to go to Ecuador for our grandson’s 1st birthday party. It’s hard to believe that it has been a year since we first met him, but time does go by so fast. It ended up being a horrible travel experience with it taking over 50 hours to get there and over 50 hours to get back, due to cancelled and delayed flights with United. But the time spent with Mayumi, Erick, Adrian, and baby Judah was all worth it! We were able to do so much in just a few days, catching up on life and eating a lot of fish too. It was such a sweet time and just makes us miss them even more. It is so hard having family and loved ones spread out over so many different countries. While he was there, Ximena was dealing with the power being out at the house for 4 days after a big storm! The heat and the mosquitoes were insane, but she’s a strong one! Four of our kids went and stayed with Tia Amy, the older boys were working in Mississippi, and Ximena and Julian stayed up at the Orphanos office, since it still had electricity. And then we headed to Texas…

The mini-Texas Tour was absolutely amazing! We were able to visit 4 different cities (Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, and Corpus Christi) in two weeks. Each stop we were able to see so many of you, even if the time felt so incredibly short. Honestly, each visit felt like a little bit of therapy to be able to share our hearts and tangibly feel the support from each of you.

The kids had fun as well! We were able to go to Hurricane Harbor in Dallas, the Riverwalk in San Antonio, and the beach in Corpus. It was the first time for Naty to see the beach, although I think she definitely preferred the pool! Salt water wasn’t her thing! Santi and Lani did surf camp and Clau and Naty were able to volunteer at Camp Zephyr for a few days.

A little over a week after coming back from Texas, we took part in the Orphanos Retreat and MK Camp. This was the first time that Richard was not the one putting on the retreat and we were just able to relax and enjoy the time with our missionary friends from all over the world. Our 5 youngest kids were also at the camp for missionary kids, which was so beautiful to watch. They connected with friends from Mexico, Colombia, and Kyrgyzstan that they hadn’t seen in a few years and came away with some close friendships with the new crew from Romania. It was so amazing to be on the receiving end of being loved and cared on by our Orphanos family.

A few months back, we had received the incredible offer from Shereen Bickham to watch our crew for a week so that we could get away. We know each one of you have pushed for us to get away to rest for a while and when we did the calculations it had been 8 years since the last time that we had vacationed just the two of us. We promise we’ll work on this!!! So we snuck out the last day of the retreat and went to Puerto Rico. It was part Richard’s cancer remission trip and part romantic getaway. It was such a sweet time to reconnect, debrief, dream, plan, and have fun. One of our favorite parts was getting to do a cooking class together, which ended up being with a Christian lady who was interested in missions and is actively serving through psychology and cooking. It was beautiful! It also was just what we needed, as we had no clue what was on the horizon.

On arrival, we knew we would be dealing lots of emotions, things to do with school starting, and the details of life. One of the things that we had discussed in detail was Nico continuing to live at home. We had multiple conversations with Nico over the past year, specifically geared towards his outlook on life and negativity that affected those of us living with him. We sat down with him that first week and shared our concerns about his continued behaviors and feeling that he was truly not wanting to be a part of our family, but just wanted a free place to stay, food, and transportation. That conversation further confirmed that it would be best for him to move out for the health of our relationship and to provide him with the opportunity to live on his own and learn further responsibility. He started to pack up his things and worked out a living arrangement close to his university.

That same week, Senka, who is our dog that we originally adopted from the orphanage in Mexico almost 16 years ago, started to decline in health. We had been watching it for a while, but that week it just got worse. It was an incredibly difficult decision to decide to put her down, since she has been with us since we were married and helped “raise” all of our kids, as well as the kids at the ministries we have worked with. It was an incredibly emotional goodbye at the vet and felt like it was the close of a chapter that we weren’t ready for, even though she was ready for it. We were honestly in pieces that Friday.

A few days later, on Sunday, Nico officially moved out with a thank you text while we were at church. We went out with all of our kids to Clau’s favorite Guatamalan restaurant and were looking forward to being able to breathe some and grieve. That evening, Clau and Naty asked if they could speak with us. We sat down and they shared that they had made the decision that they wanted to leave and move to another home. In some ways, we had expected Nico’s move to trigger emotions at home, as there can be that immediate trauma response of run before something happens to me. But we were completely blindsided by the girls! We asked if there was anything specific that caused them to make that decision and there wasn’t, beyond our rule of phones being turned in at 9pm on school nights and a few times where they had consequences for decisions that they had made. We shared with them what that process could look like and the difficulties that they could face, but that we would respect their decision. Since there hasn’t been anything that they have shared regarding their safety, Richard has now spent two weeks “fighting” with DCS to get them removed from the home, as DCS doesn’t want to. They found a placement for Naty on September 1st and she moved out. Clau did not receive a placement, so after 14 days she left yesterday for the DCS office. Their tears let us know that deep attachment had happened, even though they decided to leave.

It has been a few of the hardest weeks of our lives, and we’ve had some pretty hard weeks recently. We are hurting! Our hearts are in so many pieces, we have cried so much that we no longer have any tears, and it’s hard to even breathe sometimes. It is so easy for us to get down on ourselves for failing our kids. But we have been reminded that we didn't lose a battle, but gained time with our precious kids to share Jesus and love on them for a year and a half. Our family has gone from a family of 10 members (with our dog) to 6 members. That week that we were able to get away to Puerto Rico was a lifesaver to prepare us for this time, but we are just crushed in so many ways. We are welcoming the Holy Spirit to start the process of healing with them and with us. We need your prayers!

Prayer Requests:

1. Strange Answer to Prayer: A few days before this cycle of goodbyes started to happen, Santi and Lani both came to us and shared that they felt that we spent more time with our other kids than with them. We had also noticed that Inti had been more distanced over the past few months. Richard had also felt the burden to focus on his health and recovery over the next few months. We had been actively praying and focusing on each of these petitions and feel like God answered them in a way we never could even have imagined.

2. Grieving Process: We are hurting and have not had the time or space to be able to grieve. Every single person in our family is handling this in different ways and are able to understand it differently, from Julian asking repeatedly where the girls are to Leilani breaking down after ready a letter from Clau. This is so hard and painful. Please pray that we take the time to grieve and debrief, both individually and as a family. Please also pray for the transition down to a family of 6.

3. Intentional Time: Even during the goodbye process, we have been able to dedicate increased time with our kids who are in the home. And they have each responded so positively and shared their feelings, thoughts, and dreams about their lives and our family. Please pray that we are not distracted by other things that could fill up that space that we were previously dedicating to our other kids and continue to be intentional about our time with Julian, Leilani, Santi, and Inti.

4. Our Kids: They are even more spread out than before and it is so hard not being able to be the ones to walk alongside them and fight with them. Please pray for those who have left to find sweet new homes, schools, and friends. Please pray for those who are still at home to be able to process through the emotions.