As many of you know, we have our 5 older kids that God brought into our lives in different seasons of life. About a year ago, we were able to plan a vacation/mission trip for our family of 9 over Christmas time. It had been put on our heart to lean into a few deeper conversations to share with them what God had been teaching us about finances, sex, and other topics. A few months after we came back to Memphis, we had a long conversation in the backyard about how we felt God strongly leading us to bridge the gap for those kids who are close to aging out of foster care or in those beginning stages of adulthood and needing just a little bit of guidance. We began praying about this and looking into opportunities, like mentoring with Youth Villages this past year.
At the beginning of this year, MK, who is the director of a ministry called Arrow’s Nest here in Memphis, shared that there was a young woman that she knew that could use a family to come alongside her. M* had grown up at an orphanage in Guatemala that MK has visited for over a decade, but was then adopted by a Christian family in East Tennessee as a teenager. A few years later, the family decided that they couldn’t continue to be her family and put her into the foster care system. After aging out of foster care, she met a few different guys who cared for her, but then didn’t work out, leaving her with a one-year-old little boy and 7 months pregnant. MK reconnected with her whenever she moved to Memphis, but didn’t have the time to invest as much as M was needing, because she has 10 kids of her own.
For the past few months, we have been able to begin a relationship with M and her son, J. The first time, we were able to have them over for the weekend and just get to know each other. We were amazed at how quickly she went from being kind of closed off and covered up to being willing to laugh and joke around. It was incredible and sad that after the first day, M asked Ximena if she could be at her birth and if we could take care of J while she was at the hospital. She has thought about going back to Guatemala, but she hasn’t lived there in years and was removed from her biological home because of abuse. At the same time, J’s biological dad has said that he wouldn’t allow J to leave the country, even though the dad lives in a different state and doesn’t help financially. Even now, M is 7 months pregnant, living in an apartment with a few other people, and working at a warehouse making boxes, where she has to be on her feet all day.
We have been able to continue to visit, especially to get to know J as we will be taking care of him while M is at the hospital. Ximena talked to M and shared that she thought it would be best to have MK there for the birth and M agreed. Ximena and M talk a lot through text and she has been asking a lot of questions about life in general, even discussing the need for her to receive counseling after the trauma she has experienced. Just this past week, she was wondering if it is OK to give out her social security number to someone who is wanting to work, and we were able to guide her through the consequences that can have. She is very innocent and extremely sweet, but the environment she is in makes it normal to have lots of kids and do whatever you can to survive. We are excited to see how our relationship with her will grow and how God will use us to speak truth into her life, starting a Bible study together and even beginning to look at her taxes!
At the same time, we have had an incredible resource at our disposal, but we never took advantage of it! Melinda Cathey, who is a fellow Orphanos missionary, is a global trainer in TBRI (Trust Based Relational Intervention) and she trains people in working with children/young adults who have experienced trauma. We reached out to her at the end of last year to see if she would be willing to do Zoom training and so we have been able to received individualized TBRI training for the past 2 months. It basically looks at the science behind trauma, how to lean into trauma, and strategies to heal trauma through relationship. It has been a really beautiful time to spend a few hours learning from her, and we are so blessed by the way she is loving on us and dedicating her time to train us.
Also, for the past few months, the school system here in Memphis has been giving out lunches to all of the kids here. We have been taking advantage of it and helping out another family who lives close by. We have shared before about Vanessa, and even written about the trip to the Zoo and a few other things previously. Since she doesn’t drive, it makes it difficult to take advantage of a few of the things that are offered, so we have been her designated “food Santa.” We’ve also been able to help her picking up kids from school when they get sick and a few other issues that she was having with her boys, as they are going through their teenage years. Special thanks to our friend, Amy, who keeps us updated on all of the giveaways and even helps delivering.
God’s Room was busy for a few weeks, as Richard’s dad, Dino, was able to surprise Leilani for her 10th birthday at the beginning of February. She didn’t know that he was coming, so she cried “tears of joy” and was really excited. A few days later, Maria Caridad, one of our supporters and friends from the ministry at It’s About Kids in Ecuador, was able to come and visit us from Florida. She had never seen snow before, and it was cold and snowy the whole time she was here! At first, she liked it, and then she just wanted to get back to her warm home! Thankfully, Richard was able to drive her to the airport between two snow storms and get back just in time to be snowed in.
We know that many of you were experiencing the “Snowpocalypse” in Texas and a lot of our friends shared their experiences without electricity and water. Thankfully, even though we did receive about 10” of snow, we didn’t lose power the whole time and our neighborhood was just on the line of a suburb that was able to not boil our water. The kids were off of school for 3 of the days and then the rest were half-days, so they had an incredible time! It wasn’t good packing snow, so the snowman was hard to make, but they spent hours on end, discovering a frozen river in the forest and even what we think might have been a raccoon skull??? We were able to put a beach blow up to good use and give rides around the neighborhood too, which they enjoyed. I think we got a good 7 times circling around before it popped. It was so fun to see all of the kids outside, enjoying themselves and rosy-cheeked! The week after wasn't as fun for Ximena, as she had stacks and stacks of checks to process at the Orphanos office, once we could drive again after the snow melted!
As soon as Maria Caridad left, we also started a bathroom remodel on God’s Bathroom (we guess you could call it that!) to get it ready in case M needs a place to stay more permanently in the future. It was going pretty well and we were able to have our friend, José Alexis (our Puerto Rican friend...finally we got pictures with him!) come and help out for a few days as well. One of the nights, Richard was just going to quickly connect a plumbing line before going to help a friend move some things, but instead had a fight with the utility knife he was using. After 4 hours in the ER and 3 stitches, he is almost like new, but he now has a deeper respect for utility knives. Who knew they could be so dangerous?!?! But thankfully God’s Bathroom is coming along and we’ll show the pictures once we finish!
Over these past few months, Ximena has been able to forge a new friendship that she wasn't expecting. We were told that one of the Orphanos donors, Mr. Dennis, had been diagnosed with COVID and so we began to pray for him. We have been able to see his generosity to so many of the Orphanos missionaries and ministries over the years, getting to be Santa Claus to so many orphans around the globe. Whenever Ximena reached out to let him know that she was praying for him, it turned into a daily conversation with him each morning, asking him how he was doing. He had a difficult battle, even having to go to the hospital, but thankfully he is doing much better. He called Ximena his COVID angel and has shared with many how much those check-ins touched his life. It even further showed us as a family how just 10 minutes a day can truly affect someone's life. So pick up the phone and call someone you love!
Prayer Requests:
1. Please be praying for M and J. M has been having a lot of Braxton Hicks over the past few weeks from being on her feet all day and they are thinking that she might give birth before the 9-month due date. Pray that the transition for J to living with us for a few days would be good and that M would feel comfortable letting us care for her after the birth.
2. Please be praying that we will be able to make the upstairs a comfortable place for M if she decided to stay for a bit and for the remodel. Especially that no more fingers will fly!!!
3. February has been a month that has felt like an emotional rollercoaster, and we all have some sort of physical ailment right now (glasses needed for Santi and Ximena having a bump on her eye), so prayers for continued health would be greatly appreciated!
"As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace..." 1 Peter 4:10
Thank you so much for praying!!!
~Richard and Ximena
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